Week 5 Storytelling: Thataka's Retribution

Current Porfolio Link: https://sites.google.com/view/dawsonpleasant/thatakas-retribution

We have walked in this desolate place for days. The sage has told us of our mission. He has told of us the demon that stalks this land. He pointed out places that used to be home to so much beauty. I couldn’t picture it though. This hellish landscape is devoid of anything that would resemble life.

This is our first time away from home. My brother and I have accompanied this sage at the behest of our father. He put on a strong act for us when we left, but I could see the fear in his eyes. Two of his four beloved sons went off to face a terrible foe. I can understand where he’s coming from.

Yet he has not seen Rama in action as I have. When he wields his mighty bow, even the mountains themselves seem to tremble in fear. Though I doubt the mountains would ever do anything to cross my brother. Not like this demon has.

Rama has been silent for some time. I’ve seen him take in every detail of the landscape since we’ve arrived. I can feel him tense up as the sage recounts the way the land once was. His anger feels hotter than the scorched earth beneath our feet. Although maybe anger isn’t the right term to describe it. It’s more like righteous fury.

Rama loves life and the sight of this demon’s atrocities fuels a fire within his soul. I wish father could see him now. His fear would melt away and only admiration would remain. Although I can’t say the demon will feel the same way. I doubt her hubris will allow her to see the fate that lies before her.


The winds are picking up now. We can see dark clouds gathering on the horizon. The sounds coming from that direction are unnatural and malevolent. Most men would falter at the sight of the force that is charging our way. Not Rama though. He strides forward with purpose. Thataka doesn’t know it yet, but her fate is sealed.

Storm in Desert: Source

 Author's Note
I chose to write on the story of Rama, Lakshmana, Viswamithra defeating the demon Thataka. In the text, the fight between Rama and Thataka was brief and decisive. I've never written an actual fight scene before, so I decided not to. Instead, I chose to write from the perspective of Lakshmana. I wanted to show how he felt about his brother and their coming battle. After writing this story, I don't think I'll ever write anything from the perspective of Rama or any other divine being. I believe my strength is in capturing human emotion and writing about godly avatars just feels weird. I plan on incorporating this story into my portfolio. To do so, I'm going to have to add some more depth to it to reach the word count. When I do, I think I'm going to include some narrative on how Lakshmana feels about facing such a terrible foe, but explain how he's ready to face Thataka as long as Rama is at his side.

Bibliography
The Ramayana by R, K. Narayan

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 20, 2018 at 4:16 PM

    I love you version of the story! I loved when Rama fought with Thataka in the Ramayana since it was like the first action scene in the movie. I loved how you concentrated in the preparation part of the scene, instead of actual action. Loved it and cant wait til your next story!

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  2. UnknownFebruary 26, 2018 at 10:06 AM

    Hey there, Dawson!
    I really liked the perspective that you provided for this story. I think it is always really cool to see a story from the eyes of another. I am a huge fan of writing about fight scenes, but it was nice to read the events that take place before a battle. Maybe you could extend this story to include the fight scene? I know it is a brief fight, but you could come up with some awesome material!

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  3. Ashley GraumannApril 8, 2018 at 10:32 PM

    Dawson, I enjoyed getting to go back a hear a story about Thataka from “The Ramayana”. You have great descriptive writing and I like that the story is told from the point of view of Lakshmana since he is a minor character and does not get too much recognition in the original story. The clouds building up above the group is a great foreboding feature to symbolize the start of the fight. Great story and writing, I hope I get a chance to read some more of your writing before the semester ends.

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